30 pounds down

30 pounds down
Size 16--Size 8

Monday, March 8, 2010

My crazy day :-)

Those of you that know me know that part of my job entails wound care. Those of you that don't know me, know it now :-) Part of my schedule today was to drive about 50 minutes from the office to see a patient in a nursing home. Along the way, I stopped at Dollar General store because I was craving chocolate--one of my MAJOR weak points. I went inside and bought some of my favorite Easter candy---made by Cadbury--and they are small chocolate eggs with a hard candy shell (similar to M&Ms). I was a good girl and bought the single-serving bag instead of the 1 or 2-pounder like I probably would have done last year :-) I proceeded to eat the chocolate candy and unbeknownst to me, I dropped one in my lap/car seat. By the time I got to my destination, it had melted all over my butt---but I didn't know it. I went into the nursing home and inquired as to the location of the patient that I was to see. I walked down the hall with my chocolate butt (on light purple scrubs!). A nurse followed me in and asked "Have you been eating chocolate?" I said "yes". She looked at me with disbelief and said "well you have something all over the back of your pants and it doesn't *look* like chocolate". This alarmed me as I had taken some Alli 4 days prior. Those of you who have taken Alli are probably aware of the "Alli effect". I panicked thinking that I had crapped myself and didn't know it. Well, after the nurse left, I sneaked a peek of my rump in the mirror---and it looked like blood (the room was dark). I thought that it was strange that I could bleed that much and not know it. Eventually I made my way to the restroom and discovered that it was, in fact, chocolate. I let the nurse know, and I don't think she believed me! I'll probably be forever known in that facility as "the hospice nurse that craps herself". I guess I'm being punished for eating the chocolate.
So, I have to return to my house to change pants. By the way, it is raining cats and dogs and my seat is full of chocolate and I can't clean it because of the rain, so I get to slide around on a wal-mart sack.
While at my house, I grab a towel, hair dryer, hairspray, etc and clothes to change into after I work out since I have a date tonight and will be cutting it close time-wise.
I go to the gym, and hop on the treadmill only to discover that I forgot my sports bra, so no running--just a really fast walk. What else can go wrong? Well, let's see: I go to take my shower, which is the first shower I"ve taken in this facility. The showers are something reminiscient of church camp. I step in and turn the faucet and...nothing. I'm thinking "Oh crap! I've got a date in 30 minutes and I'm sweaty and stinky and the water is turned off". So I step into the next shower and it works, thank goodness :-) I then realize I forgot shampoo or any soap. LOL i've only been bathing for 34 years, you'd think I'd remember the basics... so I take a friction shower and hope that it will suffice. I put an extra large application of deodorant on plus body spray. I then realize that I forgot clean underwear. Hmmm...what to do...well I went commando. I just couldn't put on the dirty underwear. I then realize I forgot a clean bra. Going braless isn't an option for me, so on goes the sweaty bra (yuck!). Also forgot clean socks......
There is only one outlet in the restroom, and it is nowhere near the mirror. That made for interesting hair styling. When, I went to unplug the hairdryer, I ripped the outlet off the wall. Not only did the outlet come off, but the conduit, too. All the way up the wall and across the ceiling over to the junction box. Either I'm stronger than I realize, or this building is a real dump. I vote on the second option.
So, I meet my date, sweaty bra and all. Must not have reeked too bad because I'm seeing him again :-)
What a day.


  1. What a DAY! That is hilarious Cindy. So, was this your first date with this guy?